"I know people in high places. Unfortunately, they don't know me."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone."

"And though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea."

"SAVE THE EARTH!! (it's the only planet with chocolate!!)"

Collected Quotes from Albert Einstein

• "Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
• "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
• "One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."
• "...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."
• "He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."
• "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Copyright: Kevin Harris 1995 (may be freely distributed with this acknowledgement)

"Remember, what is common knowledge to some is a revelation to others."

"You say that money isn't everything, but I'd like to see you live without it."

"To be out of control, is to allow others to control you."

"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument."

"When something looks effortless, it's usually because of the amount of effort that went into it."

"Whenever someone says, 'To make a long story short' it's usually too late."

"When someone asks you, 'Do you understand what I'm saying?' it's usually because they aren't explaining themselves clearly enough."

"Most people don't know more than they do know -- they just don't know it."

"Some say I'm robbing the cradle, but I say she's robbing the grave."

Q: "Tell me what's the difference between ignorance and apathy." A: "I don't know and I don't care."

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

"The reward for impatience is usually a longer wait."

"The simplest way to appear more beautiful or smart is to surround yourself with people who are uglier and dumber than you are."

"The real measure of a person's charity is whether that person gives even when he has very little to give."

"Just because I don't believe in something doesn't mean it isn't true." or "Just because I do believe in something doesn't make it true."

"Even on your birthday you still have to take out the trash."

"Don't criticize the job someone is doing unless you're about to help them do it."

"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you."

"A little paranoia never hurt anyone."

"Never assume because people are in positions of responsibility that they are therefore behaving responsibly."

"To say that something is foolproof is to say that you just haven't found the right fool yet."

"Zero point zero."

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son."

"The best way to be a productive citizen, is not necessarily by producing more citizens."

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it."

"You're right, no human would stack books that way."

"If conclusions were cliffs then maybe we wouldn't jump so often. Maybe not at all."

"Since we have eliminated our natural predators, we now prey on each other."

"Rainy weekends are nature's way of making us relax."

"...Hiking seemed to be the only way any of us came to understand the burden of possessing too much."

"When you don't have any money, everything is high priced."

"Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face are gettin' clearer."

"If having a high forehead denotes high intelligence then I get smarter every time I look in the mirror."

"When reality bites -- bite back."

"If you want to see something happen, call it impossible."

"The industrial age has so alienated and so conditioned the human, that survival outside the industrial bubble is difficult."

Ed. - But not impossible.

"Travel light."

"Only in a viable natural world can there be a viable human world."

"I'm not really losing my hair -- it's just migrating down my back."

"It's hell to be popular."

"Our forefathers cut down the wilderness so we could plant saplings in our housing developments."

"Don't be too busy improving the world -- to devote some time to enjoying it at it is."

"If you do it right the first time -- then you only have to do it one time."

"The future whispers while the present shouts."