"I think my own death will be the least sad one I'll ever encounter. For me at least."

"I used to get pissed when I let a car in front of me and they didn't wave their thanks. Then I realized I wasn't doing it to get thanked, but to be a good person."

"If there is an afterlife and it is anything like this life...I might not be interested."

"Sometimes the worst part of travelling is the travelling part."

"I do not suffer fools well and there are fools everywhere. Sometimes there's even one in my mirror"

"One persons free is simply another persons bill."

"Death doesn't frighten me any more than going to sleep or that time before I was born does."

"One thing that participating in sports and games has taught me is how to lose gracefully."

"I never believe in anything that requires my belief for it to work."

"I know people with their heads so far up their asses that they should give themselves colonoscopies while they're up there."

"It's a good thing that our offspring are so cute because otherwise we'd certainly eat them."

"What goes up must come down. Unless it reaches escape velocity."

Escape velocity is the speed a body, a spacecraft for example, needs to attain to escape a planet's gravity well.

"I am not afraid of death. But I'm also not staring it in the face right now either."

"No one should have the kind of power most of us would want to yield."

"I don't have to know anything anymore because the Internet knows everything now."

"It seems that today stop-and-go driving is more stop than go."

"The last quarter mile of any trail is always the cruelest."

"If you want to feel young, hang out with old people. If you want to feel old, hang out with young people."

"Why are they called trailers if they are at the beginning of the movie?"

"When someone tells me something is free I ask them who is paying for it."