"To be out of control, is to allow others to control you."

"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument."

"When something looks effortless, it's usually because of the amount of effort that went into it."

"Whenever someone says, 'To make a long story short' it's usually too late."

"When someone asks you, 'Do you understand what I'm saying?' it's usually because they aren't explaining themselves clearly enough."

"Most people don't know more than they do know -- they just don't know it."

"Some say I'm robbing the cradle, but I say she's robbing the grave."

Q: "Tell me what's the difference between ignorance and apathy." A: "I don't know and I don't care."

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

"The reward for impatience is usually a longer wait."

"The simplest way to appear more beautiful or smart is to surround yourself with people who are uglier and dumber than you are."

"The real measure of a person's charity is whether that person gives even when he has very little to give."

"Just because I don't believe in something doesn't mean it isn't true." or "Just because I do believe in something doesn't make it true."

"Even on your birthday you still have to take out the trash."

"Don't criticize the job someone is doing unless you're about to help them do it."

"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you."

"A little paranoia never hurt anyone."

"Never assume because people are in positions of responsibility that they are therefore behaving responsibly."

"To say that something is foolproof is to say that you just haven't found the right fool yet."

"Zero point zero."

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son."

"The best way to be a productive citizen, is not necessarily by producing more citizens."

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it."

"You're right, no human would stack books that way."

"If conclusions were cliffs then maybe we wouldn't jump so often. Maybe not at all."

"Since we have eliminated our natural predators, we now prey on each other."

"Rainy weekends are nature's way of making us relax."

"...Hiking seemed to be the only way any of us came to understand the burden of possessing too much."

"When you don't have any money, everything is high priced."

"Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face are gettin' clearer."

"If having a high forehead denotes high intelligence then I get smarter every time I look in the mirror."

"When reality bites -- bite back."

"If you want to see something happen, call it impossible."

"The industrial age has so alienated and so conditioned the human, that survival outside the industrial bubble is difficult."

Ed. - But not impossible.

"Travel light."

"Only in a viable natural world can there be a viable human world."

"I'm not really losing my hair -- it's just migrating down my back."

"It's hell to be popular."

"Our forefathers cut down the wilderness so we could plant saplings in our housing developments."

"Don't be too busy improving the world -- to devote some time to enjoying it at it is."

"If you do it right the first time -- then you only have to do it one time."

"The future whispers while the present shouts."

"You can't change the date of your birth, but the date of your death is slightly more flexible."

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

"Story of our species, everyone knows it's coming, but not so soon."

"Isn't it amazing? In the information society, nobody thinks. We expected to banish paper, but we actually banished thought."

"Only in the U.S. will you see a 'Just say no to drugs' ad sandwiched between an aspirin and a beer commercial."

"If drugs are so awful, why don't we have medicine stores?"

"You can have stuff or you can have money but if you have stuff and money, then you got too damned much money."