"All religions are not the same. But all religions are crazy; there's no other way to describe a dogma that seeks to explain the nature of the universe while ignoring the reality of that universe."

"All the troubles of man come from his not knowing how to sit still."

"What goes up must come down. Unless it reaches escape velocity."

Escape velocity is the speed a body, a spacecraft for example, needs to attain to escape a planet's gravity well.

"No one can legislate against human foolishness...nor should they try."

"To stop a human being from doing something, you must find a way to make the person stop wanting to do it."

"Grief is almost always for the mourners loss."

"... all the suffering that humanity ever knew can be traced to the one fact that no man in the history of the Galaxy...could really understand one another."

"Lately I've been thinking about my vices, And about the prices, That I'll later have to pay, I've been thinking about myself, And about my health, Then I say what the hell, let's rock."

"Lately I've been thinking about who's in charge. About who they are. And are they looking down and laughing hard. Are they aliens or robots or humanoids or gods. I think I'm just paranoid."

“When a friend makes a mistake, the friend is still a friend, and the mistake is still a mistake.”

"And while everyone is entitled to their opinions, facts are not negotiable."

"When you do things right, people won't be sure if you've done anything at all."

"You can break any rule, as long as you're willing to pay the price."

"The average man does not know what to do with this life, yet wants another one which will last forever."

"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once."

"Superstition is the religion of feeble minds."

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

"Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women."

"There is nothing sadder in the world than to awaken Christmas morning and not be a child."

"Pinocchio was such a dolt to try to become a real boy. He was much better off with a wooden head."

"You got to look on the bright side, even if there ain't one."

"Sorry, I'm in the Jehovah's Witnesses protection program."

"It is the job that is never started that takes longest to finish."

"Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse."

"I am not afraid of death. But I'm also not staring it in the face right now either."

"We could have saved the world, but we were too damned cheap."

"As soon as you're born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time."

"Against logic there is no armor like ignorance."

"You can't travel somewhere if the road doesn't yet exist."

"As is most always the case with any disaster, it is those who can least afford to lose who lose the most."

"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."

"The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization."

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"With great power comes great responsibility."

"No one should have the kind of power most of us would want to yield."

"Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair."

"Insults should be well avenged or well endured."

"Even beauty may present a prism wearing to the eye."

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."

"Faith? That's just another word for not thinking."

"I don't want to believe. I want to know."

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

"There is no knowlege that is horrible, only what other human beings do with that knowlege can be called horrible."

"He can't be a man 'cause he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me."

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

"Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with."

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."