"When you do things right, people won't be sure if you've done anything at all."

"You can break any rule, as long as you're willing to pay the price."

"The average man does not know what to do with this life, yet wants another one which will last forever."

"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once."

"Superstition is the religion of feeble minds."

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

"Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women."

"There is nothing sadder in the world than to awaken Christmas morning and not be a child."

"Pinocchio was such a dolt to try to become a real boy. He was much better off with a wooden head."

"You got to look on the bright side, even if there ain't one."

"Sorry, I'm in the Jehovah's Witnesses protection program."

"It is the job that is never started that takes longest to finish."

"Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse."

"I am not afraid of death. But I'm also not staring it in the face right now either."

"We could have saved the world, but we were too damned cheap."